Why Embracing Discomfort Changes Everything

Pain and Discomfort Are Not the Problem — They’re the Signal

The word "pain" written in pain relief tablets

As leaders, we are conditioned to move quickly.

We’re trained to fix problems, resolve issues, and remove obstacles as fast as possible. In leadership, personal growth, and high-stakes environments, speed is often praised. Acting quickly is seen as decisive, capable, and effective.

But beneath that pattern sits something far more influential.

Most of the time, when we rush to act, we’re not actually responding to the problem in front of us—or making better decisions.

We’re responding to the pain and discomfort it triggers inside of us.

And because pain and discomfort are unpleasant—because none of us particularly enjoy sitting in uncertainty, frustration, guilt, or self-doubt—we reach for something that promises instant pain relief.

Why We Rush to Eliminate Pain and Discomfort in Leadership

Pain and discomfort can show up in many forms:

• Frustration

• Uncertainty

• Pressure

• Self-doubt

• Emotional tension

• Not knowing what comes next

When that pain or discomfort appears, the nervous system wants it gone immediately.

So we fix.

We decide.

We move.

And often, those actions do seem to work—at least in the short term.

But when decisions are made primarily to relieve pain and discomfort, one of two things usually happens.

Either the outcome is short-sighted or temporary—a band-aid that works for now but doesn’t truly resolve the issue.

Or the action actually covers up the real problem.

How Pain and Discomfort Reveal What’s Really Going On Beneath the Surface

Think of it like taking an aspirin for a headache that’s actually being caused by a brain tumor. The pain goes away, but the underlying issue remains untouched. In those moments, we’re not just missing a better outcome.

We’re missing the information the pain and discomfort were trying to show us.

Here’s the critical shift:

This work isn’t about the external situation. It’s about where the pain and discomfort are happening inside of us.

When we allow ourselves to stay with pain and discomfort long enough to understand them, they can reveal what’s really going on beneath the surface—misalignment, repeated patterns, or even limiting beliefs that quietly shape our behavior.

Staying with discomfort opens access to solutions that are:

• More complete

• More sustainable

• More aligned

• More fulfilling over the long term

A Real-World Example: The Cost of Avoiding Pain at Work

Consider a common leadership scenario.

Maybe you have an employee you know isn’t performing—and you know you need to let them go.

But you haven’t done it.

Not because you don’t see what’s happening. Not because the situation isn’t clear.

But because of the pain and discomfort it brings up for you. Maybe you feel guilty. Maybe you avoid hard conversations. Maybe you’re worried about how they’ll react—or how you’ll feel afterward.

Whatever the reason, that discomfort makes doing nothing feel easier than taking the action you already know is necessary.

So you wait. You justify. You hope it improves.

And in the meantime:

• The company absorbs the cost: missed performance, strained teams, lost momentum.

• The employee absorbs the cost: confusion, stagnation, and fewer opportunities to be in the right role.

• And you absorb the cost: carrying a decision you know you’re avoiding.

All of this happens because relieving your own discomfort in the moment feels easier than facing it.

And that choice doesn’t just delay resolution—it compounds the problem.

Why Embracing Discomfort Is a Sovereign Executive Capacity

When decisions are driven by the desire to relieve pain and discomfort, they’re no longer guided by what’s actually happening.

They’re guided by the need to feel better.

Operating like a Sovereign Executive means developing the capacity to stay present with pain and discomfort without rushing into short-term relief.

It doesn’t mean ignoring discomfort. It doesn’t mean forcing action. It doesn’t mean staying stuck.

It means using discomfort as information—rather than letting it run your decisions.

Sovereign Executives understand that discomfort is often part of reaching a higher-level resolution, not a signal that something has gone wrong.

Learning to Embrace Pain and Discomfort Instead of Avoiding Them

As you move through your work and life, notice where your instinct is to reach for the metaphorical aspirin—to make the pain go away as quickly as possible.

What would happen if you stayed with it just a little longer?

What might that pain or discomfort be trying to show you?

Because when we rush to relieve discomfort, we often miss what it was trying to reveal in the first place.

And learning how to embrace discomfort—rather than escape it—is one of the defining capacities of a Sovereign Executive.